Social Skills and Play Dates

“Why didn’t we do this earlier?”  That was the thought I had with our recent BYU Volleyball Trip . . . and again this weekend when we had one of their best friends from school, “DJ” over.  There are a number of kids in their class who live within ten minutes of here but the boys and DJ are ALWAYS together and, for the most part, they seem to play pretty well together.

Playing with DJ @ school

Playing with DJ @ school

Their ‘play date’ went really well!  I think the only bump we ran into was when we told the boys that DJ was coming over the next day, all three of them said, “But what about tonight?”  Da boyz got up at their usual Sat time and the first thing they did was brush their teeth and change their clothes so they’d be ready for DJ to come over.  By 9am, the constant “is he here yet?  How much longer?” and barrage of questions got to be too much so Twin A and I hit the store to do some errands.

Puzzle Time!

Puzzle Time!

The played so well together.  The only activity that I was hesitant to do but they insisted on doing was to play the Wii.  So, I made a list of activities that they needed to do (including to eat all their carrots at lunch) before they could play.  They even did five puzzles together and for the last 20 minutes, got some quality Wii time in . . . . boys will be boys. It was interesting to see that when they decided to have a lightsaber battle, they figured out a way to share the two lightsabers between the three boys.  Granted, it took some negotiating but they figured it out with no help from me.  Awesome.

So excited to welcome another cousin!

So excited to welcome another cousin!

Later that evening, we had a baby shower for my ‘little’ sister who is expecting her first.  The boys had two of their cousins over as well as a few other friends and things went really well!  My sister gave my daughter a stuffed wolf from Jackson Hole, Wyoming that we affectionally named “Jackson.”  Well, our vote for her little babies name is Jackson so my sister in law made us some shirts with her silhouette cameo that sported our choice.  I don’t think it’ll happen. . . . well, maybe not this time around at least!

We had another group of friends over for the SuperBowl and today, we are enjoying their day off from school.  We’ve had some issues with Twin A in their gym class.  He gets really angry when someone cuts in front of him, or doesn’t do something right, etc.  He got bumped today in an activity and bam! water works!  Ugh, I usually let him deal with it and try not to get involved but this week and last week, I’ve had to take him on the side for a few minutes until he can calm down. . . . .still trying to figure this one out.  Any ideas plz share.  Mahalo and have a great week!


  1. Colleen Wunder said:

    Really cute-very homey and cozy thoughts

  2. Hey! You’re back! Not sure if this is of any use at all, but…we have a DVD called baby songs and one of the songs is called ‘when things don’t go your way’ I often refer to this song when my middle boy is losing it. We just talk through all the options (yell &scream, cry, hold it inside, throw yourself on the ground etc) and that seems to help a little. It calms him down and helps him to find a solution for him self. Ive also taken a few videos of him when he’s having a screamathon and he quite likes to have a look At himself and talk through his feelings. Anyway, good luck with it.

    • I’m back! Hanks for the thoughts. I need to do better at that, looking and discussing options. On the whole, they have really gotten better. But there are still those things that set them off…..l

  3. Regarding Twin A’s “water works” bump-in-the-road, I remember waaaay back in your early posts you had a photo of him sleeping in the crib with his trains lined up, and you mentioned that he hated it if any of them fell over or fell out of line! That sure speaks loudly to me from the get-go that Twin A likes/demands/insists upon order and structure as necessary and essential for him…. even to the point that he will make efforts to change his surroundings. Obviously in the gym situation he can’t control others, so it seems to me it might help if he could eventually learn that order/structure doesn’t always happen when it comes to people… quite the opposite. I wonder whether he’ll become a computer programmer, architect, engineer or a policeman?

    The most striking thing you’ve previously shared about Twin B was the times he would tell you one-on-one “Hi, my Daddy” and “My Daddy, I love you” when you came home from work or when cuddling during family night on the big mattress watching movies. To me that speaks volumes about a more emotion-based world-view. I think there’s also something helpful in knowing more about your sons based on their favorite colors (red/blue) but I don’t have an idea where to explore that idea further!

    It’s truly wonderful to hear about your childrens’ adventures as they grow up in an ever-more confusing world than when WE were kids!! I know and I trust that when surrounded by the love, care and commitment you and your wife provide that they will become powerful people with great big hearts!

    Kahuna-pule Kimo

    • It’s amazing what you remember from our past posts. My wife read this and thought, “I can totally see Twin A as a police officer.” It is interesting that even though they are identical, their personalities are very different. Thx for the thought! Hope all is well back home

  4. Cyn said:

    Yeah you are back posting again. I’ve been meaning to jot this down all day re: challenges in gym class. Could it be a sensory regulation thing? My son finds gym challenging because its loud, children moving fast around him when his body has trouble processing where it is in terms of space etc and he used to hate being bumped or having kids too close then, From what I have read the tears can be from a sensory meltdown and he might needs just to be quickly taken out for some quiet to re-set and then can go back. It might be a thought plus children’s hearing really comes on and matureswhen they are 4 so issues can pop. I have a good website/ blog by a too OT that another parent gave me that has given me lots of info I can share your way. Good luck.

    • Thanks for the thoughts ~ I’m wondering the same thing too. . . . . Hard to say. What’s the website? WOULD LOVE to read more and thanks for the help!

      • Cyn said:

        I follow an OT by the name of Angie Voss on Facebook who offers great tips every day, has written numerous books and her very informative website: Happy to help and good luck!

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